kaiserkuchen: (GOT! Tho honestly I ship Dany/Happiness)
[personal profile] kaiserkuchen
I still consider myself relatively lucky for stumbling into GoT fandom so relatively late in the game (ie. early this year-- February, I believe). This meant that I had a tasty backlog of 4 books to sink into over what was probably a too short period of time (my obsessive tendencies, let me show you them!) and when that was done, the HBO version to ooh and ahh over and "only" a few months of wait for this fifth book.

So without further ado, some thoughts!
FIRST OF ALL: the hardcover version is ridiculously enormous. I could kill people with this thing!

- I was reading other people's reviews and reaction posts and I do have to agree that for being nearly 1000 pages long, NOT THAT MUCH ACTUALLY HAPPENS. I mean, the main bits focused on the Dany, Tyrion and Jon storylines and since I like all three characters I could deal with that but once you have a little bit of distance from the initial reading frenzy (yes I finished it in 2 days) you do see that point.

- There should be a drinking game for the amount of times variants of WORDS ARE WIND and where do the whores go are uttered. Either I have blanked it out, but I felt that YOU KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW wasn't mentioned too often?

- SER BARRISTAN SELMY IS THE MOTHERFUCKING BOSS. I think I actually enjoyed his chapters by far the most in this book and I hope to all gods that he survives the next books. Or at least goes out in a flash of glory. Well, he'll at least probably leave a legacy in the knights he's training for Dany? But seriously, his POV was wonderful, not only for his role in the Mereen happenings, his counsel to Dany, his PLOTTING (KING BREAKER! QUEEN'S HAND! oh how I loved those chapter titles) but the little references to the past.

- REEK REEK RHYMES WITH SNEAK. Oh man Theon you pathetic poor fucking sod. His arc towards perhaps being only very fucking up as opposed to the shivering wreck of a former human being was suprisingly compelling and again, as with the Barristan chapters I adored seeing his chapter titles change depending on how he saw himself and the slow, slow way he slowly regained his sense of identity as Theon Greyjoy again. HE STILL SUCKS THOUGH, FOR ALL THAT HE DID TO WINTERFELL.

- THE FUCKING BOLTONS. Between the Freys and Boltons, you have two families that are so easy to hate. Ramsay Bolton remains a particular piece of work, though the more restrained cruelty of Papa Bolton is probably the more dangerous one. POOR JEYNE POOLE THOUGH, ughh I made such trauma!faces during the wedding night bit with Theon and Ramsay.

- Davos Seaworth continues to be way more interesting than he should be and I liked how we saw a different Lord Manderly with him than the oafish fat bastard act Manderly put on with the Freys and Boltons. The North never forgets, indeed! And does this mean that Davos will now cross paths with Rickon, Shaggydog and Osha in the next book? OOOOH.

- Stannis remains lobsterlike in incurring my affection (although I probably would like a tasty lobster more than boring-ass Stannis) though it was very satisfying to gnash my teeth at him and his insufferable Queen along with Jon Snow when he had to deal with them.

- JON SNOW. Look at you, bb!Lord Commander, making command decisions and being all hardcore. And also sending away all your friends what the fuck no wonder you got jumped in that last chapter there. WHICH I DO NOT BELIEVE MEANS THAT JON IS DEAD, because there is no fucking way that GRRM would kill Jon fucking Snow off that easily and that quickly. Pfft. It is probably a  wargy-thing.

- Speaking of wargs-- BRAN! Creepy semi-tree people! Finally his storyline becomes interesting, but of course also cuts off at the best part and we are left waiting for more. I hope he doesn't actually end up stuck there though, and I am curious when they will finally meet Meera and Jojen's dad.

- ARYA MY DARLING FEISTY BB! ASSASSIN. Another case of MOAR CHAPTERS PLZ, but good to get confirmation that the blindness was only temporary.

- It does seem like Rhaegar Targaryen must've been quite the guy, and so many characters still have massive boners for him (JON CONNINGTON I AM LOOKING AT YOU). The reveal with Aegon still being alive was a surprise to me, also the fact that he didn't head on to meet Dany-- probably the better plan, given the tenuous state Mereen was constantly in, but oooh good to see the endgame of Varys etc slowly come to show.

- DANY DANY DANY I was wincing and raptly reading along with all her difficulties in ruling Mereen,  but I have to say the story kicked off nicely when the dragons got loose and OOOOOH THAT SCENE WITH DROGON. FUCKING BAD ASS.

- I think it's because we were introduced to them too late but I have difficulties caring about the Dornishmen. The Sandsnakes are fucking awesome though, it does have to be said. Quentyn Martell's storyline just seemed fairly pointless though, which perhaps again was also the point (THE "TOO BAD SO SAD TOO LATE SUITOR").

- Also in NO1CURR news, all IRONBORNE besides Asha and occasionally Theon. Well okay, the end of Victarion's chapter proved interesting enough. As someone on the internet said, the Red God seems to be the only god that actually DOES something lol.

IN OTHER NEWS, I wish we had some Sansa chapters though, because she has now become one of my ultimate favorite characters just by the ridiculous amount of character development she goes through and how she too has to face a whole lot of shit without actually having the tools to deal with it at first. I love how KING PEDOBEAR-- ahem, Littlefinger has taken her as a protege and I hope he teaches her all the secrets and how to be a politicking MASTERMIND and perhaps have nastywrongbad interactions with her now that he has transferred his giant Catelyn boner onto her daughter who is now masquerading as HIS bastard ajfhajhfafakfa oh the delicious fucked-up potential interactions here! Also I want the endgame to be Sansa as the fucking Queen of the North or something-- for the one Stark who never seemed happy at home to really come into her heritage and just blow all the fuckers away.

PS the HBO series has now made me incapable of shipping Sansa/The Hound (it was potentially interesting in the books!) because I cannot unsee YARP every time I see the dude's face. DAMN YOU, HOT FUZZ XDD

And now for bedtime so that I can repent for today and go to the gym tomorrow (my careful schedule, fucked!). Hopefully not through pouring rain, though it seems like the entire country is under water at the moment. Certain provinces in the North have been flooded for the 4TH TIME this year, this is just unreal and fucked up. And on Thursday I was caught in such a downpour on the way home that I was basically crawling at 60kms/h on the fucking Expressway with a visibility of about near zero. That was some scary shit :///
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Shaz/Kaz

June 2012

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