ANOTHER LOVE LETTER TO SABRINA (AND A GIANT FUCK YOU TO CLEMENS)

[kaiserkuchen]

Gaze upon my lovely scrawl of HAET. .................................and now I interrupt the planned therapeutic bitching about Sabrina to focus my caffeine-infused jittery feelings of rage at Clemens instead, who SOMEHOW manages to spin what should have been the usual 'friends listen to friends rant and soothe them or at least make vague mmmh-hmm noises' conversation where I vent about Sabrina into a condescending personal critique about the inherent flaws and conflict avoidance tendencies in my personality. WOW THAT WAS JUST WHAT WAS MISSING IN MY DAY TODAY.

[8:09:46 PM] clemenx : aber das ist doch kein zustand mit dem man leben möchte, ich denke die wahrscheinlichkeit ist weitaus größer eine bessere mitbewohnerin zu bekommen als eine ebenso schlechte. aber du weichst den unannehmlichkeiten mal wieder aus, kannst du dich noch an unser gespräch erinnern, als wir in deinem heim noch weitergefeiert habe?
[8:10:14 PM] clemenx : na ich will da jetzt nicht weiter von anfangen
[8:10:26 PM] clemenx : hab andere probleme
[8:10:27 PM] Sharon : ............................jesus christ junge, ich werd wohl wissen wie ich lebe und was ich aushalten kann ja
[8:10:35 PM] Sharon : und ja, lassen wir das thema.

.......I "again avoid the unpleasantness of life"? "Remember the talk we had at that campus party of yours"? OH YOU MEAN THE ONE WHERE YOU MADE ME CRY BECAUSE YOU MADE ME FEEL GUILTY ABOUT DOING MY DUTY OF SEEING MY AUSTRIAN RELATIVES AND NOT REFUSING TO SEE THEM EVEN IF I DON'T ENJOY IT?? And the fact that I actually have to censor myself around you because you make me feel guilty for the fact that YES, my parents can afford to pay for all my bullshit needs and wants. And yes I still listen to them a lot BECAUSE OF THE AFOREMENTIONED PAYING FOR ALL MY SHIT. AND UH THE FACT THAT I LOVE THEM. It's not my fault you never had a fucking father figure in your life! And what the fuck is 'hab andere probleme' supposed to mean? The fact that you actually don't have enough real friends here in Vienna that there is no one to go to that Fettes Brot concert with you? Or that your current social circle are basically people you can get wasted with OR your roommates? Who also aren't exactly saints themselves! Or the fact that Wido and I don't do that much with you anymore because Wido has a long-term relationship and wants to spend time with Lena and I can't really be bothered to do much with you because it's like you've changed so fucking much to the worst? WELL FUCK YOU AND THE HIGH HORSE YOU RODE ON MR. I AM SO OLD AND WISE. Three fucking years, and the fact that you spent ONE YEAR picking vegetables in the Australian bush does not a wise man make!

I mean, guys, when I bitch about Sabrina and moan about how much I hate her, it is predominately because well yes, I need to vent and her shit IS annoying and infuriating BUT. I am fully aware that of all the shit she pulls, it is still not and will never be the level of crap that would warrant me actually filing a formal complaint. She does not steal, make constant racket, snort crack off the kitchen sink or do any other unsavory things that would necessitate that level of serious change. She is a slob of the most disgusting order, for sure, but I feel that we are making progress via these letters and I like my dorm room at the moment too much to rock the boat this way. IF THAT MAKES ME CONFLICT AVOIDANT THEN SO BE IT. (also I mean I am communicating with her?? HOW IS THIS AVOIDANT??)

NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOUR STUPID FACE TOMORROW MORNING IN HIST AT, CLEMENS. DOUCHE.