kaiserkuchen | Dear Sabrina, (Reply)

Hi! I'm back! How are you doing, did you have some pleasant holidays? I see from the fact that there are dishes in the sink and somewhat fresh vegetables in the fridge that you are also here or thereabouts, and I must say that the 3 week expired milk, the empty egg cartons, the wilted parsley and the 2 week expired unopened vat of yogurt really made me feel right at home again! I also see that the lovely patch of mold in the back of the fridge is back, wow, it's almost like it's welcoming me, how sweet. The crunch of the thin coating of crumbs that coat the kitchen area and the dust mounds in the rest of the Vorraum-area is also something I sorely missed in Bangkok! How nice of you to cultivate it :)))
So, I really hope you have fun reading the not at all passive-aggressive half-page missive I have taken the liberty of pasting on your door- I mean, I sure felt like an pedantic asshole writing it and composing it as I was clearing out and scrubbing the fridge down, cursing your name and the fact that someone who studies nutrition can be such a disgusting slob, but godfuckingdamnit, this semester I at least want to enjoy living in my dorm again.

SO I FUCKING HOPE YOU GET THE MESSAGE, BITCH.

Hope you have a lovely day! And I sincerely hope I don't have to see or interact in any other form with you beyond pasted bits of paper and the occasional nod, followed by door slam!

Yours in supreme annoyance,
Sharon ♥