Moments of academia-related homicidial urges

[kaiserkuchen]

Dearest fellow group members of my UE-PR,

Words cannot fully describe the extent to which I am currently yearning to collectively throttle each and every one of you (though some of you more harder than others), run your lifeless corpses through some kind of shredding machine and feed the rest of you to hordes of wild dogs, cats or pigs. OR HIT YOU ALL HARD ENOUGH UNTIL CANDY STARTS COMING OUT, I truly can't decide!

How lovely of all of you to spend the week being okay with our initial group method of newspaper article analysis to uncover the public/media opinion on Favoriten, but now suddenly decide that, wait-- READING AND CATEGORIZING ARTICLES IS HARD! And what's easier and ~less of a hassle~ than reading stuff online? STREET INTERVIEWS! Three per person! Eighteen in total to give us a TOTALLY conclusive picture of the whole thing, sure! Pull the other one, fuckers. And where are your questions and ideas for the length of this supposedly easy questionnaire? Where is the barest sign of having thought about this for more than 'hurf durf talking to people is coooool :B'?? Talking to people on the street SUCKS. It is a fucking hassle and they don't want to be disturbed and you eventually feel like a giant DICK for having to and jesus christ. It's one thing to legitimately have a problem with Media analysis, but please, give me a better reason than 'it's such a hassle', and then go for a method that IS JUST AS BAD, AND ALL THE OTHER GROUPS ARE DOING, which would give Teach an ever better reference point to compare us with. And then she'll see that this was just a ploy because everyone is a lazy sad fuck. I mean, I don't want to expend so much effort either, BUT GIVE ME A BREAK.

And why am I the only one writing long emails trying to get people to discuss things? Is this some giant cultural divide in how people use fucking written correspondence nowadays?? I am already about 80% sure that they are all skimming my mails, which is why I am that jackass who BOLDS, ITALICIZES and UNDERLINES key passages because I am sorry to say that my collective impression of my groups intellects' is about level to that of a kindergarten classes. At least the kids would be willing to do things!

IN CONCLUSION: PLEASE DIE, I HATE ALL OF YOU AND WHAT YOU WILL BE DOING TO WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER 1ER FOR ME IN PR. DIE IN A FIRE D:<

Comments

[charlie-d-blue.livejournal.com]

...

Remind me to never make you mad.

But seriously, that sucks, and it's part of the reason I so detest working in groups for grades, you have my deepest sympathies. I hope this doesn't get you too down. :)

[kaiserkuchen.livejournal.com]

...... :D?? Well um, the most I can say is that it takes a lot for me to finally snap, I guess? The problem is just then that I am one of these people who can nurture grudges over aaaaaaaages with lots of tender loving HATE and basically I am that one toss with Stephen and the fermenting yeast of darkness and hate when Steve Carell was on TDS again and Jon asked Stephen about it lol.

And I have very little patience for uni-related dumbassery with fucks like this when this should be an easy grade to get. UGHHH. Thanks for reading through, though ♥

[properly-stored.livejournal.com]

...They think talking to people is easier than analysing articles you already have?

Are they on crack!?

[kaiserkuchen.livejournal.com]

THE FLURRY OF EMAILS DUDE, IT IS UNBELIEVABLE-- and each one of theirs is all a la 'well I think we should really get started soon....' WELL WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR WORK THEN, DICKFACES? I have c&ped my rough drafts so often already, it is unbelievable. And there is this one guy, Sven C, who I think really has some alpha mail pissing contest thing going and isn't happy that I have now become the defacto group leader. PRO-TIP: IT'S BECAUSE I DO THINGS?? AND GET ON PEOPLE'S BACKS FOR THEM TO FINALLY DO SHIT?? (seriously, his latest email was 'well I think we should finally start delegating tasks people, so many emails...' WELL SVEN, I'm sure that having your head that high up your own ass prevents you from having the basic reading comprehension to realize that we can't delegate because idiots like you have decided to make everything more difficult about selecting a goddamn method. UGHHHH.

There is one chick that is sensible though. She and the old swedish dude have helped me to a stalemate of which method we're going for. If I eventual snap and attempt to kill everybody at the group meeting we're having on the day WE ARE SUPPOSED TO HAND THE FINISHED PROPOSAL IN, I will try to remember to spare them from much bloodshed.

/RANT

[properly-stored.livejournal.com]

Argh, you are giving me fucking flashbacks ;_; I'm praying I don't get group work next year, but considering I'm doing all the marketing modules I bet I will. I understand why for our industries good teamwork IS relevant but I fucking can't stand working with idiots who don't seem to CARE. Then your work gets them a good grade. FAIL.

Shit dude, if you're doing all the work, own the fucking role. The deal is, they do work, or you take their names off the assignment, done.

[kaiserkuchen.livejournal.com]

Hehehe the trauma that infests all uni students, I guess! And group work is imho at least still feasible if it's a group of three people. Easy enough to wrangle into some semblance of half-decency. But it all goes downhill once the group turns into 4+ (because then you'd have to make sub-groups and the chances of more than two half-competent people are depressingly low). And lol I've been thinking about future working situations too, but at least I hope then most people will be motivated by their pay-check. And the looming doom that is the disapproval of the boss-person? It's just shocking how unwilling some people are to realize the amount of work that uni DOES require and how they think that if they just half-ass it, eventually everything will work out. Life would be awesome if so, but it ain't so WAKE THE FUCK UP, DUMBASSES.

And yeah, I'm planning to spend Sun/Mon trying to do most of the prelim work and maybe even already print out some articles to wave in their faces so that they finally realize what bullshit they have been sticking their heads in thus far. Ugh work hasn't even really started and already I feel that this will be more stress than my final 50+ page seminar paper will be ://

THANKS FOR LETTING ME BITCH AT YOU THOUGH ♥

[cheshire-tabby.livejournal.com]

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:
those little pieces of...
DUDE, I have like exactly the same problem, except for the fact that the people of the AG of which I AM THE MOTHERFUCKING SPOKESPERSON - they can't even decide what topic they want to work on.
and I mean our overall topic is "literarische listen - COMICS" it can't be thaaaa~t hard, right?
HATE!!!

I feel your pain, BB!

[kaiserkuchen.livejournal.com]

OLGA WIESO SIND SO VIELE IDIOTEN AN DER UNI? Es muss doch Methoden geben, solche Arschwichser alle irgendwie zu beseitigen, oder?? I am sitting here typing off emails with my pulse up to here, because I am shaking in poorly suppressed rage at how certain people can make a simple task so goddamn arbeitsaufwendig and retarded and then read the emails and act like they don't know that THEY ARE THE ROOT OF ALL THAT IS PLAGUING OUR GROUP. I wish I could shoot them. Two of the five are okay. They can live. BUT THE REST NEEDS TO ROT IN HELL, SVEN C MORE THAN OTHERS eyyyy was er wieder für alpha-männchen bullshit versucht zu bringen weil er selber Gruppenleiter spielen will aber dennoch nichts leistet (HAHA ich bins lol wtf). BRING IT ON BITCH I WILL SHANK YOU D:<

Und godddddddd, deine hören sich ja genauso hohl an! WARUM TUN SIE SICH BLOSS SO SCHWER. Idioten, überallllllll

[cheshire-tabby.livejournal.com]

bessere Frage: WIESO SCHEINEN ALLE IDIOTEN IMMER IN MEINEN ARBEITSGRUPPEN ZU LANDEN (UND DEINEN)??!!

schicksal is a whore, ich hasse es. und wenn ich rundmails an die leute schreibe, ey. ich hab ne recherche gemacht zu dem literarische listen/comics thema und hab nen artikel von spiegel und der NY TIMES gefunden und die links verschickt und gebettelt dass sies lesen.
in der folgenden stunde haben es auch einer gruppe von vier menschen, genau eine person gelesen. NÄMLICH ICH.
und ich hatte die artikel ausgedruckt dabei und hab wieder gebettelt: BITTE BITTE JETZT LESEN.
die haben sich das verdammte bild angesehen, geseufzt und gemeint 'ne, also das zahlt sich jetzt auch gar nicht aus, ...'
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHGHGHGHGHGH!!! D:D:D:D:D:

und am besten war die frage: 'wo findest du das alles eigentlich?

GOOGLE IS YOUR FRIEND, BITCHES!

[kaiserkuchen.livejournal.com]

SO WAHR, SO UNGLAUBLICH WAHR (UND TRAURIG D:)

BOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ARSCHLÖCHER. Man serviert die sogar alles aufm Silbertablett, und die sind trotzdem zu blöd um das anzunehmen, ooooh mein Gott wie ich das kenne ajkfhjkaf WARUM SCHAFFEN SOLCHE LEUTE DIE UNI, DIE SOLLTEN ALLE DURCHFALLEN UND MINDESTLOHNARBEIT BEI MCD'S MACHEN, KLO PUTZEN USW. UND oh mein gott jaaaaaaaaa. BLOSS NICHT GOOGLEN MÜSSEN. DA MUSS MAN JA LESEN UND DENKEN, GLEICHZEITIG!!. Shit, dass ist schon extrem viel verlangt~~ SURE *kotz*.

Und ich glaub auch fast dass ich Dienstags so ankommen muss, mit leicht vor-recherchierten Themen und ausgedruckte Artikel, weil dann sonst wieder der gleiche bullshit mit "es ist ja so viel aaaaaaaaufwand" kommt. IHR DRECKSSPASTEN WIE HABT IHR BITTE ALLE DIE BAKK1 ARBEIT GESCHAFFT meeeeeeeeeeeine Fresse eyyy. IHR VERSAUT MIR HUNDERTPRO DIE NOTE AHHHHH

[docsaico.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you have to deal with assholes like that. I fucking hate group assignments; the only person you can depend on is your-goddamn-self. Good luck, bb, you deserve better than how you're being treated. I hope you guys get an A.

[kaiserkuchen.livejournal.com]

I have at least won two others to my opinion (THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE) and have thus created a stalemate that will be clarified in person this Tuesday... If I don't flip out and murder everyone with a coffee mug, that is :D! I am just always so stupefied by the sheer laziness that some people exhibit in group assigments, it's your grade too, douchenozzle! And shouldn't every student know that your friend last-minute work and massive procrastination turns into your bitchslapping pimp of academic failure the moment one does a group assignment, the mind, it boggles!

Thanks for the happy thoughts, though! :D