Ninjas STILL can't catch you if you're on fire

DEAR IMMUNE SYSTEM, I would like you to stop right there and not even think about starting to fail on me. The raspy cough that is beginning to get more intense as the hours go on, the weird way I seem to be aching everywhere, the delicate beginnings of a headache and the surprising lack of appetite? Kindly fuck off and die. I have already taken two Vitamin C tablets today, I am guzzling enough water and will be bundling up like woah when I head out for dinner with Carmen and her visiting sister, so THAT WILL BE THAT. Ugh, cold weather sickness woes, DNW!

Today has not been all that good of a day so far, so I really hope dinner at the Shanghai Tan will lift things up a bit. Thought I'd have a long-overdue nice phonecall with my Dad again, but that turned sour real quick. It's my fault for forgetting the key rule when Talking To Dad About University/My Future: LIE. LIE LIKE THE DICKENS. It's apparently useless trying to explain that given the unknown timespan getting all my paperwork processed will take, I haven't actually sent out any job applications yet. All the agencies and what-not right now are only looking for positions to start Jan or early Feb, and that is a time I know for sure I won't be done yet (even in the best case scenario when I pass ABWL). But of course, all this reads as excuses to him, and me not holding up my end of the apparent bargain we eked out in the summer. Thus, he was also not all that happy with my plan to come back home for a month in mid Feb, and well. Oh man. I know he only means well, and has my best interests at heart, but the way he says it never fails to rankle or reduce me to ridiculous tears because it always sounds like he is disappointed and insinuating things about my failure/idiocy/naivete/whathaveyou. Which is at least somewhat dealable over the phone, but hah, there have been many awkward and super snot-filled bawlfests in person in the past.

But, nothing I can do I guess. Will continue to try and at least get my CV and cover letters translated, my application papers scanned in and such this month, and I'll just start sending off things in the beginning of January then. It's times like these where I intensely wish that I could just say FUCK IT and go back to Bangkok, but even super-whiny self-pity party queen me knows that it's a stupid idea given the pittance I would earn. If only if only. I guess this is one of the things I at least enjoy about this half-life you live in university: You have all this time, and you can sometimes hid from decisions behind it, but eventually the clock does run out. I know that immediate Masters programs are out of the question for me, both due to intense personal disdain for the theoretical/dry curriculum in Vienna and parental no-nos-- but the idea of postponing it all some more did have its moment of temptation.

But basically you guys can count yourselves lucky that technology isn't at the point where one can automatically compose LJ-entries in their brain and immediately post them, otherwise you all would have been treated to some A-class emotional roller coaster self-pitying venting. That would kind of go like this: BAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW I AM SCREWED BECAUSE OF NO INTERNSHIP AND MY LOOMING DEPARTURE DATE ---> ...OH WAIT MAYBE I WILL NOT BE SCREWED AFTER ALL!! I CAN HAS SOME CAUTIOUS HOPE! ---> BUT WAIT SOMETHING IS HAPPENING TO DRAG ME DOWN AGAIN ---> HA-HA! I HAVE OVERCOME THIS OBSTACLE, SOME INTERVIEWS GET! ---> AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, TIME FOR SHARON'S BI-ANNUAL SELF-WORTH ISSUES BORN OF SOME THROWAWAY REMARKS FROM DAD CRISIS, now with added blubbering in his office! ---> YAY MY NORMALLY KIND OF EMOTIONALLY STUNTED FATHER HAS AWKWARDLY BUT CLEARLY STATED AND REAFFIRMED HIS LOVE FOR ME AND THAT HE IS PROUD OF MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS THAT 'I HAVE GAINED ON MY OWN MERIT' it continues to baffle both him and me how much a part of me always needs to hear him explicitly state elementary things like these, because somehow I decided to be supremely neurotic and full of issues about this, even though part of me should full well know that DUH MY PARENTS LOVE ME OKAYYY *headdesks*I love Ma so much for letting me cry over the phone at her while I was freaking the taxi driver out though too, ahh
(THE END. FOR NOW??)

...so okay, I guess you are all catching me on an upswing! I spent the last few days furiously prepping for, and calling up various big ad agencies here for a summer internship (seriously, I googled the Top 10 worldwide agencies and just went through looking for their BKK offices. Lolol might as well aim high, eh??). Spent 9 hours today running around town, submitting my cover letter + CV and filling out some uh, very interesting application forms at Young & Rubicam, Saatchi & Saatchi, McCann Erickson and Leo Burnett. Have to go into town AGAIN tomorrow for a hastily on their part rescheduled interview with someone from Leo Burnett, third consecutive day on less that 5 hours sleep is goooooooo. BUT! I really hope the LB thing works out, because they are ~fantastic~ and I loved their office already from the moment I stepped into the threshold. Will still probably send off the requested email-only applications to Ogilvy and EURO RSCG on Monday too though, ONE CAN NEVER BE TOO SURE.

GOD I HOPE I GET IN. I CAN ALREADY SEE MYSELF DYING THIS SUMMER FROM THE STRESS, but oh myyyyyyyy just the thought of how my CV would look with an internship + certificate from one of these pimpin' agencies?? DREAM COME TRUUUUUUUUUE (part 1! Part 2 would actually be working their for cash money lolol)

and on that note! SLEEP. Moooooooar postings tomorrow~ MISS YOU ALL BBs! (well okay I had been good with commenting these past few days)

FINALLY!! SENT IN STEP5. I SO BULLSHITTED THE MAIN IMPORTANT!!! PART. TURNS OUT I DIDN'T REALLY GET HOW TO DO IT LAST MINUTE AS I HOPED AND PRAYED OOPS. I ENDED UP WITH 8150 WORDS (OVERSHOT MIN REQ BY 3000 WORDS IS THIS BAD??), 17580 WORDS IF YOU COUNT THE INTERVIEWS AND CRAPOLA. I WROTE THIS LONG NOTE TO TEACH BASICALLY BEGGING FOR MERCY TOO l jlkaf LOLOL ajsfks

I SENT IT IN '22.34' AUSTRO-TIME (THANK YOU ADJUSTABLE CLOCKS) BUT WE HAVE A PROBLEM. .....IT IS NOT ACTUALLY TEN PM RIGHT NOW. I HAVE TO GET UP IN LESS THAN 2 HOURS. WHY. WHYY.


eyes. burnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


why do i keep doing to myself?? I bet the BAKK1 won't be different when I pass this. IF I PASS THIS. O GOD IF I DON'T PASS I AM SO FUCKING SCREWED. FUBAR. FUBAAAAAAAAAAAR.

o god Gouma I hope I catch you on a nice day when you correct my shit ahh please remember I was always there in class and participated and aaaah I just want to passsssssss. DDDD: LOVE ME PLEASE


D:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aliiiive, but suddenly fucking swamped and it's nearly 4AM already aaaaah clusterfuck!

Real actual post pending, have amassed linkses(SPN FIC SO HOT) and pics(Lucas' 'porno party' on sat(THE COPS CAME. AGAIN) and meeting with Nat for caaake) but nooo time yet.

And my yuletart piece and my STEP3 HÜ? NOT EVEN STARTED ahhhh


;3;

DOOMED!!

Term hasn't even officially started and I am already starting to get sick of it. And the fact that the clicking of doom will start tomorrow afternoon as 1000 students converge on the PKW homepage to get into this semester's tutorials... HERE'S HOPING I GET WHAT I WANT DD:
...also discovered that I have also failed STEP1(as did Anja haah I gots some company), and that the retake is this freaking monday morning already, so goooodbye, weekend plans! (Olgaaa ;__;) ...also HOW TO TELL DAD ahahahaha jesus christ whyyyy
Damn Soz.pysch exam sign-up quota is also already full, when the hell did it even go online?? Ahhhh I wanted to take it this month!! 2 chances lost now and fuuuuck I better not screw it up in april or june or when the hell ever the next date is.
Wallner bitch still hasn't replied to my emails yet, so I sent the same one again lol I will spamminate her until she writes back!11 :/

Why does uni make me feel so retarded?? I mean, I used to be the 2nd best in class for like years and now? Blargh DD: I miss the structure of school in moments like this.



At least am not so sick, nor jetlagged anymore. And I have the internet ♥