Ninjas STILL can't catch you if you're on fire

BECAUSE IT IS HOT AS HELL HERE. Ahh, you know you're back in (South-East) Asia when leaving the airport, even at half past 5 in the morning feels like walking into a SOLID WALL OF HUMID HEAT. Either I will acclimatize again soon, or start counting "taking cold showers" as one of my new hobbies. This entry will be shorter than I want, because I actually should be in bed right now, for another 5AM wake-up to go into town with Dad looms and of course I am still awake now. FOR TOMORROW I FLY TO ~*SINGAPORE*~ and will be hopefully getting that internship interview aced, see cool things and have a fab time with Mother dearest and our two neighbors who're tagging along aaaaaaaaaand meet the wonderful hemlocke. I AM EXCITE ALREADY <33

AUSTRIA, packing:
- Utterly and completely failed at this mysterious thing called ~TIME MANAGEMENT~
- Freaked the fuck out about my luggage weight, made last minute package that I dropped off at the post (11kgs lol), threw away a few things that I really shouldn't have (Carmen's naked man calender gift! sobsobsobbbb) BECAUSE MY ACTUAL LUGGAGE ENDED UP WEIGHING 15 FUCKING KILOS *headdesks foreverrr*
- Sabrina gave me the greatest gift ever by not being home on Saturday, so I didn't go through with my plan of sticking a big ol' grand FU note on her door. I was so pressed for time that I wouldn't have had the time anyways, but I am choosing to believe that this will help my karma lol. I pity the poor fool that moves in after me though...

AUSTRIA, airport/flight:
- Clemens totally saved my ass with helping me run and haul my luggage from the bus stop to the S-bahn station, making me safe from just about missing my train. I was telling him that my farewell gift was showing him all the shitty sides of my personality though lol(procrastination leading to epic missing of things and general tardiness). He was a tremendous help, and I admit that I felt a bit bad for thinking badly about him before (well, okay he IS actually a selfish dick most of the time. Which makes his actions now even nicer, I guess?)
- Flight was actually awesome-- great food (seriously!), I sat near the toilets and a nice old auntie who turned out to be a really famous Thai author?? A fact that made me kind of retroactively wish I engaged in smarter chit-chat, but I seem to have amused her either way? (She was gently mocking of the way I cracked up and generally fidgeted when I was watching the inflight entertainment, lol whoops). Hardly slept during the flight due to the movies I was watching: Avatar (admittedly pretty visuals but oh the faiiiil, how it burned), It's Complicated (more fun than expected, and god the food in this flick looked delish) and The Young Victoria (more interesting and engrossing than expected. Kept thinking about that hilarious Kate Beaton comic though, which possibly added to my enjoyment <33)

THAILAND, homecoming:
- Dad actually picked me up, which was wonderful and I totally annoyed him in like ten minutes flat because I was keyed up as hell from my flight and he had just dragged himself out of bed at 4AM to come get me <33
- Doggies freaked the fuck out when they saw me, which is always super gratifying. Nero looks older and older every time I see him but he at least seems fit. Ace is a GIANT DOOFUS, the end.
- Khun Yai MADE A GIANT BATCH OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITE BANANA CHIPS. Just because she knew I was coming! AHHHH BLISS *noms* Also, I have already had fresh ripe mangoes from our gardens and from the farm and more fruit to come~. And in food news, Dad snagged me a pot of Foie Gras spread, and has been making the most delicious things as per my whims. He has an invitation to attend a Chef's Dinner at the Oriental hotel this Thursday that features a TWELVE COURSE PASTA MENU, along with the accompanying wine and I am just horrendously jealous.

I have been kind of the ~*Queen Flake*~ of Jesuschristwhydoisuck-dom, but I guess that is fitting to the theme of this summer. It feels like eternity, and still I wish I could have spent more time here. University calls, and I wish I could just ignore it, especially now that it seems that my final semester will be fraught with bureaucratic fuckery regarding amongst others, increments of 5 FUCKING ECTS points that I still need to conclude my free electives that must then be approved.
Oh university, how you have always been not much more than a means to an end to me- and while I hope there is an alternate universe me that is happily studying for her probably useless university degree- this version just can't wait for it to be finally over.

Things that have been awesome in the last few days were:
- Getting my HD successfully cloned, and going from 80GB --> 320GB of space. MOTHERFUCKING HELL YEAH, this is how we roll. And all this for 3,100 baht/ 60€. This is why Asia is the best place ever to be. All your wishes, bam!
- Last victory tour of shopping spots and fave snack places-- Kanom Krabuang, Hokkaido soft serve, delish sushi, mango smoothies and moaaaaaar
- Ma (and her credit card's) surprise treating me to what has to have been the best facial treatment I have ever experienced at the place where I got my bikini wax. The Clarins Institute has totally won over my heart-- the treatment bed even had a heating pad inside ngggggg BLISS
- Dinner with Dad at Chesa's-- best melt-in-your-mouth Australian Sirloin steak I have also ever had, simply perfection! Which was rounded off by delicious mango-passionfruit Mövenpick sorbet ♥

Things that have been not awesome:
- Getting my period, and thus traveling with it (at least I know why I was so angry and cranky these last few days though lol)
- My luggage weighs 24 kgs. PLEASE MAKE THAT OKAY AND PASSABLE, MAGIC GODS OF THE CHECK-IN COUNTER
- Ace comes into my room. Stares at my face with his usual dopey expression. And then proceeds to casually lift a leg up and piss in my room. Thankfully he didn't hit anything important, but still. DUMBASS DOG :/

OOOH Dad and Sue are back, hopefully this means dinner now ahhh so hungry. See y'all on the flipside and wish me a good, and empty flight bereft of dickery and assholes :

Seriously, I think I have cumulatively spent about 22 hours asleep this weekend. And it was glorious. Saturday was especially spent in a flashback to high school manner-- zonked out from 3AM-3PM lol, don't ask why I was still awake until three though. Of course, this meant I basically dropped everything else, barely got anything done but bothering the dogs, bothering Dad, watching crappy TV and eating delicious food-- but all in all, I think it was worth it. With these batteries charged, I'll hopefully be more in the swing of things now!

DAY THREE @ INTERNSHIP:
I think asking you guys for spam was the magical nudge I needed for them to finally give me shit to do-- as I was about to reply to some mail (laulan, chesire_tabby-- I WILL SO GET BACK TO YOU GUYSSS) I got to work on another project! I had to type up a product introduction/explanation text that expanded a bit on the virtues that were explained in the product factsheet. This was some famous brand's newly formulated baby/toddler milk formula, and it apparently filled with sunshine and rainbow dust, all the best to "optimize the miracle of learning in your young child's life". I had to do some googling about what foodstuffs normally contained the magical ingredients used in the formula, and what fun diseases you could have if you didn't get enough of these nutrients.

FUN FACTS: Did you know that our brain is apparently made out of 60% fat? Or that if you'd stretch out all the nerves in your brain in one straight line, it'd be 75 kilometers long? Well that's what the internet told me! Shame I didn't get to use it, but I gladly proceeded to work this into every conversation I had with RL people that day lolol.

Anyways, this wasn't supposed to be a really hard assignment to do, but of course I am sometimes blindingly stupid, and didn't really get enough sleep the previous night (note to self, 5 hours is okay, FOUR AND A HALF SCREWS YOU). I had two cups of coffee for breakfast at 7AM, which served me fine for the part of the morning where I was still waiting around for people to come to the office and give me shit to do (aka 9-11AM), but damn if the caffeine didn't just exit my system like a thunderclap the moment I fired up that word document. It was almost hilarious, I couldn't even focus on the screen, everything was flashing, my eyes were that heavy. It felt like I was almost high lolol thankfully it was almost lunch-time, so I basically excused myself off alone. Scarfed down a middling meal at the food court and followed that up with a large cafe latte with two espresso shots and 5 packets of sugar to actually make it palatable and we were back in business. I wonder how my super liked that article? Will find out soon I guess, though I hope I won't have to correct it as much as the cosmetics one. Turns out that she told me I could freestyle the translation/tone, but neglected to mention that the client wanted certain key phrases repeated EVERY DAMN PARAGRAPH, and I unknowingly always switched things up a bit because I thought that would make for boring reading. It was again a faintly amusing process of back and forth, her correcting it and making me correct her grammar in turn and rinse and repeat. Oh well, now I've internalized it for sure though. I think I'm even getting to go to the press con/product launch event for it tomorrow too, "white dress-code" ooh err, better go pack my stuff now.

OVER AND OUT FOR NOW, BBs ♥

OH AND CHECK OUT THIS COVER OF KANYE WEST'S "HEARTLESS" Kris Allen, my my my :O

Man, time sure flew by, I guess! Have been busy with supraaaise!uni, planned!activies (IKEAAA) and surpraaaaaaaise!socialness--including surpraaaaise!finally snapping at Michi not to be such a fucking bitch when we are at a mutual friends and their friends ask me something about Thailand and even before I open my mouth he is already starting with his stupid supercilious 'I know so much better than you' face. Hah, guess I shocked him something good? Carmen maintains that it was one of the most awesome things I did that she got to witness, anyways. The actual words I said were uh, "Ey Michi fang du ned scho wieder mit deine scheiß' Fressen an, da kanns ich gleich lassen mit dem Erzählen!" "!! Ich zieh doch keine--" "VOLL. Du ziehst da immer deine scheiß' Fressen und ich hab da so was von kein Bock mehr drauf!" ......*awkward sileeeeeeeence until Carmen prompts me to continue lolol*. I am a picture of prim and proper German communication, tru fax. Now he is super creepily nice to me, as we have reached the occasional occurrence when the dude realizes that, WAIT we were actually his close friends for a while! Friends should be valued! And treated nicely! But it never really lasts, and soon I predict a return to his usual self-centered douche-baggery. What changed, what chaaanged :|

I should actually be up to here in reading for uni now, since this week is my hardcore block week, but alas, the last few hours of today and most of yesterday have been spent rereading the best of Speranza's Due South Fanfic, which is as you know, EVERY-FUCKING-ONE of them ♥, so there are worse ways to waste valuable brainspace and time, I guess!

And in lieu of anything else interesting to say, have some cute animal pics of AJ and some WEE!PUPPY pics of Ace that I managed to earth up again. GOD HE WAS SO TINY AND CUTE AND TIIIIIIINY *cooos*
( kitty and puppyyyyyyyyy eeeeee )

IF ONLY I HAD REALIZED THAT THE ONLINE iMAR SELF-STUDY QUESTIONS WERE ACTUALLY QUITE HELPFUL. Will blunder through them now in a last minute attempt at braiiins, though! And uh, keep taking breaks every five minutes. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME I THOUGHT I WANTED TO BETTER MY GRADES >_>;;

OTHER THAN THAT:
Have some pics of our growing (dog)weed, AKA ACE, at about four months! HE USED TO BE SO WEE. What a cute bugger eeeee last time I skyped with Dad he was ambling in the background and jkasjakjsfh SOCUTE ♥

A maturing face~~

Nero apparently deigns to touch him/have Ace near him now lolol

ARRIVAL OF NEW PUPPY(!!!1) IMMINENT IN LESS THAN 24 HRS!!!!!


...and we still haven't decided on a name yet. My backing of 'Attilaaaaaaa!!!1' was ruthlessly shot-down by Dad('too long!'), as was 'Hector'('too homo-homo sounding!') so I am now lobbying for ~*ACE*~ and Dad is still sticking to 'Rio'(WHICH IS THE KING OF ALL HOMO NAMES IF YOU ASK ME) and 'Puma'(but he pronounces it like 'Boomer' lol) and 'Sly'(URGH).

COME ON PEOPLE, LOOK AT THIS CUTIE, doesn't he seem like an ~*ACE*~??

a) Y
b) YYYYY
c) FUCKING A' Y!!

Search deep inside of yourselves, you know the truth lurks within!


PS I NEED A DOGGIE ICON
PPS STILL TOO LAZY TO TYPE UP BKK POST